Oh my jello! It’s been so long since I’ve been here… I’ve gained weight, I’ve lost weight, lost my complexion and gained it back (Thank goodness!!! – yes, I look even better now. Hardly get those horrible blackheads and nasty pus -filled pimples. I mean, I still get them, but hardly) My boobs haven’t stopped growing :/… At some point I started getting facial hair, due to copious amounts of stress… I’ve had countless (empty) promises made to me, I’ve been lied to, I’ve had my spirit beaten down to a pulp and I think I’ve reached one of my lowest points in the past… Err… Few months? Many months? This isn’t an English lesson, get off my case. I myself have made a number of promises I couldn’t and sometimes just didn’t want to keep. I’ve lied (err, too many times I reckon), I’ve pretended (to be interested in something(s) ridiculously boring, to be okay, not to be annoyed – wait this might take up too much time, let me move on.)
Oh my flapjack, I forgot the most important one! I’ve been SO jealous! What a horrible feeling!!! What a terrible space I was in, I felt selfish and evil for wanting what didn’t belong to me. No, that doesn’t make me a silly bimbo, that makes me human ( ˘˘̯). Boy, is it difficult being human (┎_⌣̩̩̀) these faces are totally dramatizing my text, OK, I seriously like that.
Uh, so I was saying… I even took a month long break from Facebook, Twitter and meat! (X_X). I also dropped my phone in a bathtub full of my own dirt (and water -ugh, I know, right? Don’t tell my Dad). I worked until my head started to spin ( I won’t say where) and got no recognition whatsoever.
I met sooo many new people I like, got reconnected with old friends that I somehow lost along the way. Gave my number to people I never want to meet again, nevermind speak to on the phone! Why do I do that???
Gee, I’m never going to finish! To cut a long story short, I’m happy now. All my previous experiences have groomed and molded me into who I am today – May 1st 2013 (just so you don’t get confused 
– I dunno why you would, honestly) I’m slightly more confident than was before, my vocabulary is still failing me ( well, I’ve accepted that I can’t have everything – no android phone, no car, no apartment, no exotic looks, no sexy accent, no money, no what! (As that old man from the Maleven doccie would say) shame on you for not knowing who that is ( ˘˘̯).. Wotevz), I’m wiser – I still make the dumbest mistakes, but only when I’m not thinking, see? – I’m a lot more… FABULOUS! Such an abused word. I didn’t think I’d describe myself as being that either, did I mention I also like to surprise myself now? I’ve been doing that A WHOLE LOT lately. JJ knows what I’m talking about, and one day when I hit rock bottom and decide to write a tell-all book about my exciting but mostly pathetic life, you too will know what I was referring to in this very paragraph. The very same paragraph I can’t seem to end. Okay, it has officially ended.
It’s so sad how none of these post have some sort of underlying meaning or motivational message… Really though, they’re not meant to. As much as I’d like to motivate you people, I still have a whole lot of work to do on myself. Hey, I never said I was deep and what not… I mean… Look at this. Colloquial language, baddish (okay now it’s bad because I’m making up silly words) grammar, a very, very , veeeerrrrry limited vocabulary and err… Hey, my spelling’s not that bad! Bottom line is, I don’t rhyme or type about super deep emotions, I don’t make any sense a lot of the time… I reckon if we were all wise and philosophical, pea brains like me wouldn’t exist, meaning people wouldn’t laugh as much – AND someone would know what the hek is going on in my brain. -____- no fun in that.
My thumbs hurt. *sigh* until next time. Remember, you’re not normal either. See motivational stuff just isn’t me. I should stop typing. I will stop. Now.
Lately has been a patch of such intensity, so much pressure in every direction, that each glimmer of tenderness, of humanity, of a hand reaching out in the chaos has felt like a branch that must be held onto tightly in hopes of slowing the relentless slide down a slope.
That dream the other night of a house where everything you touch turns into something else – you pick up the umbrella, it turns into an eel, you grab the doorhandle, it turns into a salamander.
But I can’t…
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